Quest for Life - Just Wishes - Gen 5

by Damen

When my mom died suddenly, we moved towns bringing only her grave with us, which dad spent a lot of time talking to and crying to.  I remember my sister Dawn saying when Dad had decided he could not live in our old house without mom, that taking moms grave with us would not help him, and now I can see she was right!!!

Dad has never moved on with his life since her death, all he does is helps us live ours, but really he has nothing going on in his life, he has no friends and only leaves the house to work, all the rest of the time he is just existing and I don't think happily either.  I did speak to him once about it and I know he will never forgive himself for betraying mom, for having an affair with Cherry and the accidental arrival of my half sister Ingrid, Mom and Dad's relationship was never the same after that and Mom died before they had a chance to make things right between them.  Dad feels like he let everyone down especially Ingrid, his brother Daryl and his own Dad.

I have worried about him for a long time, even when I had not realized the extent of how bad it really is.  Before my children were born he basically lived in the basement kicking the martial arts training dummy or bashing the board breaker, sleeping, eating and working and that was his life, his unhealthy life in my eyes.  When my children were babies and toddlers it seemed to give him another purpose for his life and he came from underground and turned the children into the centre of his universe.   But I was thankful, because when the triplets arrived we would never have coped without him, and for the first time I could see he was happier than I can  remember him being for a long time.

  In all the years since we have lived here I have only actually seen her ghost fleetingly a couple of times - until lately.  I have noticed that she has been appearing in the house quite regularly and she has even attempted to talk to me a few times.  The first time I freaked out and ran, but the second time I did try to talk to her, but felt uncomfortable doing it.
One thing that struck me, and confused me, in ghost form she has a glowing beating heart - I have never seen this before.  In our old house there were quite a few ghostly ancestors roaming around, but none of them looked anything like mom's ghost.  Humans have beating hearts - vampires and ghosts are technically dead so they dont have a beating heart.  So why does my moms ghost???

 This is how I remember mom and dad being .............

and really I don't want to be seeing this - replacing a better memory - but that is exactly what seeing them now like this has done.

It is hard for me to remember my mother as she was, I was young when she died and too many years have gone by, so why does this happening now????

Two of my children have encountered my mothers ghosts and I hadn't realized.  First Ellie, has at sometime had a conversation with her, telling her she was her Grandmother, and she used to cook meals for the children at night and leave them in the fridge.  Edwin has also been shocked by her presence too.

I asked Dad to come fishing with me so I could have a word with him.

"Dad we need to talk about something"

"What's that then"

"Mom"

"What about your mom" 

"I saw you yesterday ....... with mom"

"Oh"

"You need to let her go Dad, she's dead"

I can't let her go son" he replied "She is still here with me - she isn't dead"

"Dad - SHE IS DEAD - she is a ghost, I am having her grave moved to the graveyard, you are driving yourself crazy - do you know how insane you sound??!!"

"We have decided ........" he said
I interrupted him "We ....  who's we?"

"Your mom and me, we have decided if I can not find a way to bring her back, then I'm joining her"

"WHAT!!?? - Now listen ........."

"No Damen, you listen ..........."

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by Aleksey

The first time she came to me, I thought I was dreaming, I was lying back in the hot tub relaxing with my eyes closed and she spoke to me

"Aleksey I really don't like where I am at the moment - help me please"

I didn't answer her because I though I was just dreaming

"Please Aleksey - I know you can see and hear me"

She then touched me - I sat bolt upright and saw she was in the hot tub beside me

"You can put your arm around me, you know I don't bite"

"But ........" I was shocked

"I need a cuddle Aleksey, is it so hard?? I am still me"

"But you aren't still you are you!!"

"I am here, still eating, sleeping, thinking, I still love you, all I need is my old body back"

"And that's real easy isn't it Casey - your dead"

"But am I - I don't think I am, I don't feel like I am - its just my body its changed"

"I don't know what to say to you Casey"

"Kiss me" she said

What!!??!"

"Close your eyes and kiss me"

So I did, nervously at first, but with my eyes close, it felt like I had my Casey back

"Well?"

"Well, what - are you fishing for complements after all these years?"

"No silly - its still me isn't it" she said
"Yes Casey - its still you!!"

"Just exactly where are we anyway, this isn't Wishacy Valley?"

"Wishey Bay" I replied

"Why did you leave our old home Aleksey, and where is Dawn? I haven't seen her at all"

"Dawn is still there with Moe, she didn't want to come with us"

"But why?"

"I could not live there without you, too many reminders everyday, too much guilt, it was driving me crazy"

"and Dawn??"

"They were settled and she has her own life with her husband and children - she wanted to stay"

"Daryl - Ingrid - Cherry - are they here too??"

"No I left them behind - haven't seen or spoken to any of them since we left, I will never forgive myself for betraying you, I ran away from my responsibilities running away from my guilt"

"Come with me, we need to do something" she said taking my hand

"Where?"

"You'll find out" she said
I felt the nervousness rising as she took me upstairs and into one of the bedrooms.  Surely, she could not be thinking we could ..........wahoo??
"Now, close your eyes" she said
I closed my eyes and she kissed me again, my nervousness disappeared  as I was swept away with the passion, that was still the same - I had to get Casey back completely!!

"Does this mean you have forgiven me"

"I forgave you a long time ago - I just didn't tell you"

"I have been tormenting myself for years"

"I know I have been watching you"

"You have?!"

"Yes and you don't have a life do you Aleksey"

"No.........not without you"

"Its getting light I need to be going soon"

"Why do you have to go?"

"I will be back again soon - I promise"

Before I could say anything else she vanish in a green flash.
Relaxing on the bed for a moment after she had gone, I wandered if I had been dreaming, that couldn't have just been real could it??

It was  a few days before I spotted her again, she didn't come to find me, I caught a glimpse of her red glow up the garden by her grave, so I went up to look.  As I got close to her I could hear she was crying, not just crying, sobbing.

"Casey what's wrong, why are you crying?"

"I hate this Aleksey, I want my old self back"

"I don't think that is possible Casey"

 "There has to be a way - please help me find it" she pleaded
"What about if I join you?" I asked

"NO!!!!  It is not nice in this place, Aleksey please promise me you won't do anything stupid!!"

"I will try and find a way to bring you back - but if there is no way - I will be joining you sooner rather than later, I can not carry on living like this, especially not now you have come back to me"

"I knew I should have left you alone, but I have watched you for years, if you had moved on with your life I would have left completely, but I can not watch you living like this for the next 500 years while I am waiting for you to die and join me!!"

She carried on "Promise me you will find a way to bring me back Aleksey ... please!!"
"I can not promise but I will try!!"

Finding a way to bring a ghost back to life - that seriously can not be possible!!
Where would I start to look for an answer - the library? the graveyard? the ghost hunters might know something!!  The science lab??
Someone must know if it is possible!!!!!

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Quest for Life - part 2